What’s at stake if you don’t deal with the conflict in your life?

A married couple was arguing and ended up giving each other the silent treatment. A week into the couple’s mute argument, the man realized he needed his wife’s help. In order to catch a flight to Chicago for a business meeting, he had to get up at 5 a.m. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5 a.m.”

The next morning the man woke up only to discover his wife was already out of bed, it was 9 a.m., and his flight had long since departed. He was about to find his wife and demand an answer for her failings when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. He read, “It’s 5 a.m. Wake up.” 

What’s at stake if you don’t deal with the conflict in your life?

Screen Shot 2019-12-12 at 10.36.25 PMConflict must be dealt with regularly, quickly, and biblically. There is evidence in the Bible that unresolved conflict can cause sickness and even death. 

Years ago, I helped create a list of five biblical processes to follow when dealing with conflict. My prayer is that this will be as helpful to you as it has been to me over the years.

Let’s get started.

5 Biblical Steps to Deal with Conflict

1. Always go to the individual first: 

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Matthew 18:15

Screen Shot 2019-12-12 at 10.50.27 PM2. Never let gossip start with you:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

3. Speak the truth in love: 

Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head that is Christ.” Ephesians 4:15

Screen Shot 2019-12-12 at 10.50.45 PM4. Deal with the situation as quickly as possible:

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Settle matters quickly with your adversary.” Matthew 5:25-26 

Screen Shot 2019-12-12 at 10.50.56 PM5. Never let fear slow you down:

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18


Thanks for investing your time in God’s Word today. I pray this list will be useful to you in your journey. We all make mistakes and need encouragement. But remember that God sets the standard for dealing with conflict.

“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Colossians 3:13

What unresolved conflict do you need to deal with today?